It is July the Fourth, 2011. BBQ, fireworks, and ......baseball? Here in LA, we have contracted a rare disorder never before seen in the world of medicine: Malignant McCOURToma. The symptoms are severely bleeding attendance, chronic litigation, pathological lying, metastasizing nepotism, enlarged concession prices, diminishing services, and deferred Vinnyism. Our only hope is for Buddy Selig and US Bankruptcy court to excise this lesion from the Southland, ASAP! 2011 will be the first year in history that the Angels will out draw the Dodgers. Clearly, Dodger fans do not want to contract Malignant McCOURToma and are staying away from Dodger Stadium in droves. While one the most storied franchises in MLB can't sell out on Tommy Lasorda Bobble head night, in America's Heartland the Dayton Dragons made history last Saturday. The Dayton who? The Dragons are a Class A minor league club, affiliated with the Cincinnati Reds, tied the all-time record in professional sports with 814 consecutive sell-outs! Barring a rain-out, they will break the mark on July 9th. They average 8,375 fans per game which is 116% of capacity! This punctuates the fact that Dodger fans are in severe need of a McCOURTomectomy and fast. Fireworks will fly tonight in the sky above Dodger Stadium, celebrating America's independence. We can hope against hope that Dr. Selig and his surgical assistant, Judge Chapter 11 are scrubbing in and preparing for the surgical procedure that will restore baseball again in Dodgerdom!
No comments:
Post a Comment