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| Kim Jung-Un on his Majestic Steed |
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| Coach D'Antoni perplexed over this Sham-Mockery of a season |
The Los Angeles Lakers are nearing the end to a hugely
disappointing season. With off season acquisitions including Dwight Howard and
Steve Nash, the Laker faithful envisioned a play-off run to another
championship. Teams like the Heat, Spurs or Thunder were of little concern.
Unfortunately, age, injuries, coaching changes and poor team chemistry have
sabotaged those dreams. Not even the death of beloved owner, Jerry Buss, could
inspire this lack-luster squad to greater heights. After a recent Laker defeat
at the hands of the hapless Wizards, Coach Mike D’Antoni referred to his club
as a ’Sham-Mockery.’ What a great
word, spoken and created by a native West Virginian! An absolutely perfect
description of this year’s Lakers.
In honor of Coach D’Antoni, I have a short list of this year’s Sham-Mockeries.
I am quite sure I missed some. Here they are:
Los Angeles Lakers: This team will back into the play-offs and then disappoint us with a first round exit. Haven’t we already heard enough about these Sham Toni-Mockeries!
American Idol: Back
in the day, A.I., was a TV Phenom. The fresh critique of Simon Cowell, the
lovable incoherent responses of Paula Abdul, and then of course the ever-present Dog. Ryan
Seacrest was Ryan Seacrest and all was well. It was the only singing show on TV
and over 30 million viewers tuned in twice a week to watch the performances and get Simon's opinion. Those halcyon days are long
gone. Idol’s audience is half of what it was in 2006. Simon is gone and so is
the heart and soul of the show. This year’s judges are mediocre, at best. Keith
Urban is OK, Randy is his usual boring self, but Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey
are train wrecks. Nicki didn’t even show up on time for last week’s telecast
and Mariah is just a megalomaniacal has-been whose career is in her rear view
mirror. All that being said, the worst part about the show is the contestants.
They stink! Since the dynamic duo of the Two David’s, Cook and Archuleta
battled it out in 2007, the quality of talent has steadily eroded. This season, only Angie Miller and Kree Harrison are worth watching. The rest are
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! We live in the era of endless reality shows with a singing or dancing show on almost every night. We are over loaded! Please
stop! It is an AmeriSham-Mockery!
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| Odds on favorite to win Idol this year: Angie Miller |
CA Proposition 8: Two
issues relating to marriage are being heard before the U.S. Supreme Court this
week. I hope and pray they rule in such a way that yet another form of
discrimination and hate will be eliminated from this great country.
California’s 2008 Prop 8 campaign was a PropiSham-Mockery like had never been seen before.
Judges, do the right thing!
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| There is always room for more Rainbows! |
Kim Jong-Un: North Korea is the world's new meanie led by a plump child despot. So, what could go wrong? A true KimSham-Mockery...
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Another psychopath who wants nuclear weapons and hates us. As Jay Leno would say, "Mahmoud Ahmasonuvab...... is one nutty Shamoud-off his Rockery."
Obama Care: Bad for patients, bad for doctors, can't we find a better fix than this O-Sham-Mockery?
The Minivan: It may be an exaggeration to say the minivan
is dead, but make no mistake it has been dispatched to the land of niche
vehicles. Need proof? Back in 2000, Americans bought 1.37 million minivans and
they made up 7.9 percent of all auto sales. Today, the minivan is just 3
percent of total auto sales in the U.S.—and just over 500,000 were sold last
year. It appears Americans have finally come to their collective senses. Was
the minivan a practical, efficient vehicle? Sure, but so was that old station
wagon with the faux wood paneling on the sides! Nothing but a Mini-VaNockery!
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| Would you want to get behind the wheel of this 1990 Dodge Caravan? |
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| Or this....? |
Lindsay Lohan: A
judge recently instructed her: ‘Ms. Lohan, don’t drive.” I agree! What happened
to that cute, freckled young lady who appeared in ‘The Parent Trap’? Therein
lies the answer, she seemed to be trapped by bad parenting. Throw in the Hollywood Life-Style
and gallons of booze and you have yet another casualty of fame and fortune.
Tinsel Town, what a LoHam-Mockery!
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| Smart, beautiful, talented, her whole life ahead of her.... |
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| To this....? Say no to drugs! What a shame... |
Michelle’s Obama’s
bangs: Madame First Lady, the new style just doesn’t cut it. You are giving
Presidential Fashion a bad name. Where is Jackie O when we need her? Or even
Barbara Bush! Michelle, you are a Fasham-Mockery!
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| Which do you prefer? A tough choice. |
Gas prices: When
you fill your tank at the gas station do you feel violated? Here in So Cal, I fill
up at the cheapest gas station in town: Sam’s Club. The price this past Monday was
$3.89/gallon. And that’s down from a few weeks ago. What the hell is up? If a
maintenance worker at a refinery farts, the price spikes up 10c a gallon the
next day at the pump. Oil companies are getting richer and richer, at our
expense. I long for those far off days when I first started driving when gas
was 27.9c a gallon!! We are getting ripped off and there is nothing we can do
about it. What a GaSham-Mockery!
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